While on a consulting assignment a few years back to a long term VoIP project for a major MSO, I spent most of my time traveling and "Out of [my] Office"-- In a series of attempts to see who really was reading my out of office messages I authored a few, let's call them "different" messages over the duration of the project. Surprisingly enough, I received many comments from the majority of my professional peers and often received feedback from people who were referred to my email address for the specific reason to get my OoOR ( Out of Office Reply).

Anyway here is the first of many... I have removed any names, dates or proprietary information to protect the innocent...mainly me. ANYTHING IN ALL CAPS has been replaced.
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OUT OF OFFICE MESSAGE "Therapy" #1 in a series...

I will be on vacation from Friday MM/DD through Sunday MM/DD and as a result will be completely incommunicado until I return to the office on MM/DD(i.e.-unreachable by cell or e-mail). In the event you need any assistance on issues pertaining to the THING I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR or THOSE OTHER THINGS I AM ALSO WORKING ON, please contact JOHN DOE , my accomplice and fellow Market Design Engineer for THE STUFF WE ARE WORKING ON in THAT CITY and the OTHER REGIONAL Division. JOHN can be reached on 800 555-1212.

For any of my arm chair therapy patients--please continue watching Mr. Rogers Neighborhood (now available on DVD), strive to be a Good Neighbor and eliminate any and all reality TV, Quiz and Game, or talk shows until my return. Also use of the Crayola 64 color boxed set and engaging in a minimum of 1 hour of coloring every other day ( plain paper or coloring books) is still the recommended relaxation exercise. For you art snobs this is " wax crayon on paper or newsprint" for your medium-- Staying in the lines is not a requirement. Lines are not a requirement. Think Jackson Pollack if you need inspiration.